Well. Here is my response. Thanks Chat GPT!
Dear Naomi H.,
Ah, your persistence is truly admirable! ? I must confess, your emails have been like a gentle rain on my digital rooftop. Twice, you say? Oh, I’ve been counting every pixel of your prose.
Now, let’s play a little game. Imagine me, clad in a cloak of mystery, sitting by my inbox, sipping virtual tea. Your messages arrive, and I stroke my metaphorical beard, pondering the grand purpose you’re about to unveil. Is it a secret treasure map? A clandestine mission to rescue the last surviving unicorn? Or perhaps an invitation to join the elusive “Society of Suspiciously Polite Scammers”?
But let’s cut to the chase. Your proposal, I assume, involves a rare blend of unicorn tears, moon dust, and the lost city of Atlantis. Or perhaps it’s a groundbreaking offer to sell me the Brooklyn Bridge at a discounted rate? Oh, you’re selling Donald Trump’s Tower in Abu Dhabi? NOT INTERESTED!
Alas, dear Naomi, I shall acknowledge your email with the gravitas it deserves. Behold, my solemn response:
The sound of crickets chirping in the Arctic. You hear that? Good! I have no response.
But now I’ll give you some free advice:
You’re a bot operated by a spammer with no meaning in life other than to defraud, cheat or lie your way through life. Oh, life? You have one? I doubt. If you had even one iota of self-respect, you’d quit being a cheat, a fraud and a liar. So will you make your life better now, today?
I challenge you: if you want a real, genuine life… don’t be that turd. Go make a genuine difference to the world. Help a lady across the road, give $20 to someone in real need, give up your seat on the bus… Quit being a turd. Now!