1. There was once a young man who, in his youth, professed his desire to become a great writer. When asked to define "great" he said, "I want to write stuff that the whole world will read, stuff that people will react to on a truly emotional level, stuff that will make them scream, cry, howl in pain and anger!" He now works for Microsoft, writing error messages.
2. A man was driving home one evening and realized that it was his daughter's birthday and he hadn't bought her a present. He drove to the mall and ran to the toy store and he asked the store manager: "How much is that new Barbie in the window?"
The Manager replied, "Which one"? We have 'Barbie goes to the gym' for 19.95… 'Barbie goes to the Ball' for 19.95… 'Barbie goes shopping for 19.95… 'Barbie goes to the beach' for 19.95 … 'Barbie goes to the Nightclub' for 19.95… and 'Divorced Barbie' for 375.00
"Why is the Divorced Barbie 375.00, when all the others are 19.95?" Dad asked surprised.
"Divorced Barbie comes with Ken's car, Ken's House, Ken's boat, Ken's dog, Ken's cat and Ken's furniture.